Read some books

Nineteen Eighty-Four

Nineteen Eighty-Four, published in 1949, gave a forewarning on what would inevitably occur under a government with absolute control over citizens. Perhaps the most destructive of all is not the physical torture for confessions, but the ongoing alteration of past events, the purposeful ambiguity of presented truths. How crazy it is to imagine, that a person's trace could be thoroughly erased away as if never existed; that two plus two can be five or six whenever The Party decides to be? Yet the book vividly portrays a totalitarian world, so vivid it feels the world can be real -- if the world directs it so. The greatness of such writing is not on its literary prose, but on the criticisms it set towards such world. Present politicians are being restlessly reminded that a 1984-world is a hell, and any government that exercises rewriting history is branded "Orwellian", and being frowned upon. This book, and its inherent messages, had acted as a counteracting force whenever the world is drifting towards being totalitarian.

Brave New World

Brave New World is a half-done masterpiece. Published in 1932, the story and underlying ideas are seminal at the time, yet never executed on full force. It describes a world that men are full of amusement but none of ambition. There is no meaningful progress for the mankind, only sensational movies, casual sex, and relaxation drug-use. When technology is so advanced that a human birth can be as precise as building a car, all labors are done solely to maximize productivity for the society. In this light, the concept of family (parents, children, etc) is eradicated, scientific research is no longer important, and creative work is prohibited. The greatness of this story, is that it eerily resembles the present world we live in. Published decades before social media exists, it foretells the powerful trend that put billions man-hours into unproductive use. The free time on civilized daily lives, are spent on status update, video streaming, and interactive gaming. Everyone is so free, that nobody is free anymore. Unfortunately, this book is unable to give enough warnings when the society had drifted towards a world full of entertainment. Perhaps the progress had been too subtle; it proceeded without much bloodshed and violence, yet is creeping into every urban dwellers' lives.

Job Hunting Roller Coaster Ride

I am going to be a little more candid here because I am writing in personal arguments and facts. Not intended for boasting.

It starts off with a brave decision of declining the lucrative offer. It's interesting to see when you look back a major decision in retrospect, you get different perspectives as the time moves forward and the aftermath of decision gradually subdues from your life. Let's take a backward roll in motion and watch.

1. Minutes after the offer call and within the same day. 
I phoned my close friend to ask for third-party opinion, and he sided me with not pursuing towards the path that not into your liking, no matter how beautifully carved the path is. I went on to imagine how my time will be filled up by tasks and devastating work-life balance, based on words from former colleagues.

The fact is, I am quite OK in programming. I learn fast and could deliver, maybe I am not a genius, but I am accountable. I believe this capability brings me to the offer, and sticks a "Skill Endorsed" sticker on my resume. 

2. The next three months.
I decided to move on and ride on the seats on job-hunting-roller-coaster. It turns out to be much harder than imagine to even get an interview, albeit a brand name on resume and taking CFA and having a first class CGPA. 

- With case interview preparation, I went to apply for consulting firms. No sign. 

- Attending career talks, I went to apply for MA programmes. One big bank screened through my resume and not particularly impressed. Today I learnt that MA is not for me, (I am more of a back-desk-analytical person than a model of front-line-personal-branding). But I was not that clear of what I exactly wanted to do back then.

- Buy-side (Investment) firms have a barrier too high for entry, only the best is shortlisted and they had done 30 internships. Ok 3, not 30. So no sign too.

3. Year end, new year
On December, I took the hardest exam in my life. One month of 24/7 preparation, 6 textbooks and 43% historical pass rate (37% for my intake...impressed) are daunting. 

Apparently this is my bet: using the CFA exam to knock the company's door. I was only partly right. Yes, a non-business major needs the certification to prove your determination, but it is insufficient in this tight labor market. And regardless of the economy conditions, CFA remains to be a paper. No matter how golden plated it is, the certification cannot translate to your work ability.

And I stayed jobless passing 2012. I was surprised. I got rid of peer pressure because I worked 120% more, but I had a hard time to stay under waiting-anxiously-but-nothing-can-do. It is not too pleasant to see things go beyond your control.

4. First three months of 2013
I then adjust my strategy and broaden my options. I also decide to leverage on my network, try to push myself closer to HR's sight. 

Not much progress. There could be personal or impersonal reasons that I don't get shortlisted, so I forced myself not to ponder what's happening. I just continue to pull my contacts. Turns out to be very hard, because cold-calling is not for Asians, and I don't have the insider connections. 

I then had 3 interviews, and ironically they are all from website applications. My network replies me but never leads to opening the window of opportunity. 2 out of the 3 rejected me after a short while after my mediocre/bad interview performance.

I passed CFA exam though, but its recognition is yet to surface.

5. Present and beyond
Three months left to graduation, my peers start to get offers, mostly due to previous internships and their respective majors. I understood very early that Mathematics is not a targeted degree, so while I am happy to see my friends land on career, I am not envious of them.

Things do get harder when government decides to set minimum wages for foreigner to be white collar. Perhaps to circumvent this, banks start to offer contractual roles and becoming hesitant to offer permanent positions. It's good to see but the competition stays stiff.

I decide to stick on a belief of "These times are not for hiring, neither in hiring season nor in good economy. Things WILL GET BETTER. Being in finance means staying work 120% hard on everything, be the 5% who gets 95% of reward."

5/95 rule is a mantra in capitalist world, and I thrive to enjoy the adventure towards the 5%.

Worth the effort for the experience? As of now, I am not entirely sure. But I hope years later, I can connect the dots and say Steve Jobs is right.

Mirror time.

As FYP submission deadline is counting down in hours, I felt somewhat saturated from the obligated work and decided to look at something different. I went to watch the Steve Job’s commencement speech at Stanford.

This video is of course not new to me, neither to my generation. Yet the depth of his deceptively simple message leads me to fresh thoughts and brings me to realization.

Life is an amalgam of chain of events; the casual relationship between history and present is so much clear than predicting how your current decision impacts your future. It is always much easier to look backwards. In Jobs’ words, you have to somewhat trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.

Mirror time. So how should I trust / strongly believe that I manage to connect my dots? I am an inspired mathematician wannabe becoming a grudging student in finance; on the way touched a wide range of things. I always bear mixed feelings towards coding but consciously and subconsciously I stumbled upon the realms of C++s and PHPs. I have many interests and love to ponder, but not real work (when compared with absolute winners…. What an unfair comparison) is done for the last 23 years.

Do I get to do great things? Could I lead the trend instead of sheepherding trends? Am I capable to be a man appears on documentary, sharing stories to inspire youths? What does it take to achieve true greatness?

Last night I told my friend that, we always need a higher aim to pursue our goals, and that will never be material awards or recognition from others.

Stay hungry. Stay foolish. (PAM! Another copycat ending! :D)

So, what about competition?

More and more of my friends got stressed out living in Singapore. Although it is trivial, what worried me is that people are getting overly committed in the competition and feeling more depressed while doing so.

Let's put down your assignments and think for a while. So, what about competition?

Singapore has a well-established system that cages talented people in the same place, forces them fiercely compete to each other and juicing economic rewards in the process. It is much harder to realize the harshness when you're in it; I was repeatedly told singapore's job market is among the hardest to break into. Therefore singapore talents (people like you readers) are bound to believe ""rising to the top"" is the sole purpose of life, and you did whatever it takes to win the game. However, such attitude is too narrow-minded and doesn't necessarily guarantee happiness. [1]

From my humble perspective, looking for more incremental material goals and spare yourself some room to relax will make you much happier than going all-in into studies/career/whatever you are TOLD to pursue. 5.0 or 4.5 CGPA difference are meaningless if you spent 24/7 in library. Having $1m or $100m doesn't matter if you don't have time for casual relationships. We, of course, have to stay within the system for living; but we can always take one step back, enjoy the process and have a happier life here.

Smartass in NTU like you should also beware of the ""winner bias"" - feeling theres always someone who is marginally better than you no matter how well you performed. This is akin to comparing yourself to NUS peers (disclaimer: illustrative example), and then to overseas universities of better ranking, all the way to Ivy leagues. You could spent all your whole life living by envying others, chasing over academic qualifications, corporate pedigree and material rewards; OR you could chart your own adventure and face with novel challenges, at the same time mock those monkeys who thrived for another boring résumé.

Food for thoughts.

The world is now a turbulent place.

Very, very important questions that require the attention of people at our ages.

Integrity

Let's talk about integrity.

There is a reason why integrity is being held as single most important value in your career, among all kinds of skill sets. Because in the end of the day, people will view you in a multi-perspective picture, and they hope the picture stays the same as the perspective changes.

I have yet fully understood the significance of integrity until one day I get to see it from another perspective. In essence, I get to see how a person tried to hide facts from someone who was supposed to know them, in attempt to avoid some unfavorable consequences. While his act is understandable, it is not acceptable because he is hurting others in the benefit of himself. In such case, his integrity will be in danger, much worse than if he stated facts upfront in the first place.

It reminds me days back then, when someone promised me confidently on a task but failed to deliver. It is even worse than being incapable, because lying/boasting will not only devastate your integrity ("You are not doing what you said"), it will drag other's workflow in the team environment as well. 

Now, I should stop accusing others and mention some of my bad deeds. Being an over-achiever, I once took over two responsibilities which schedules perfectly clashed on each other, one I accomplished with full passion, another as persuaded mission. While I put myself in the best light in former, I literally screwed up in the latter. I went on to abruptly quit the task with a resignation letter, and did not followed up ever since. Putting in my superior's angle, it is certainly heartbreaking and nerve-wrecking to see one of your men quitted away, rising red flags on team spirit.

Looking forward, I have been through both sides and now start to see how integrity interplays as leaving impression on others, building reputation and being a credible person. It may cause you some obstacles in climbing corporate ladder, but think deeper, is advancing by reaping others really a good idea?

Think about it.

Recent.

There are too many stories to tell recently. Just a couple interesting ones:

The struggled decision
I was given a very attractive full-time offer to work in an investment bank. It's all great: overly high compensation, luxurious lifestyle, numerous benefits. I had stayed hesitant and unsettled along the way since then, and yet to firmly stand out and said that:

"Heck, I am not going back there!"

Yet a best friend of mine simply reminded me what's important for this situation. Considering the fact that I don't like the nature of the job, I need to have extra time after work to do what I like. The fact is the job will be increasingly demanding and gradually eating up evening hours as the tasks demand, and the employees tend to spend their nights there. Then it is all clear! If I accepted the offer, I will be forced to work long-hours without passion, and it will consume my live. I will not be happy with that.

I repeat, I will not be happy with that.

P/S: Being happy is all it matters, no?

So the decision has been made.  

The appreciated mentorship
Shortly after I inform the delegates on the rejection of offer, I met up with my former line manager. Our encounter is just so happened to be so interesting, sharing much commonalities on education, yet walking on very different path and stage of life. His brain is wired in a unique way that few could mimic but I just happen to understand, his experience is unparalleled to my peers.

It was well appreciated that he shared his endeavors, his knowledge, his views on the current world to me even though I put upfront that I am not going to work under him in the future.

Just a few key topics:
A bad academia practice - merely circulating papers across different journals in hope to increase article count, but bringing no real value to research.

Views on current world - social unrest without clear direction, increasing demands on sustainable energy, in need of disruptive technology in energy sector, wealth inequality in countries regardless of economy development.

Personal advice - It does not matter which kind of companies that you join, but knowing which area you are heading to.